My blog (30 June 2008)

The first proof to that, what I write touches people's hearts I realized after I wrote Associations A-Z. The issues was written in order to be read by someone on my last birthday, and people said to me that I made them laugh and cry at the same time.

Miriam the social worker said I should do something about it. So Did Efrat the physiotherapist who thought so too and of course my friends but they are suspected in un objectiveness.

For the little operation I had, I wrote what I've been gone through and again I received many compliments from many people.

After the third article, my friend, Itshak, wrote to me: "I realy enjoy your writing. Open a blog of your own, and write in it every day. I'll be happy to read it!"

I didn't know a thing or a half about the blogs, and if my son Barak hadn't open one for me on that day maybe I wouldn't be exposed to it. That's how I began and the rest as they say is history.

Every day I create new record. Around 10 am my body is being placed near the computer and I write all that comes to my mind at the moment, with no pre planning.

I discovered this enormous value of such communication, especially to people in my condition who has no ability to express himself verbally. I have been given a wonderful opportunity to share others with my thoughts, feelings and other things that hassle my mind.

I found out that people interested in what I have to say. Who is waiting every day to see what I've wrote. Not only friends and family, but also strangers, which I didn't had other possibilities to reach to them.

I am following in excitement on my number of entering to my blog.

I started on 5.6.2008 with 40-50 entering a day. After 10 days there was one day that 208 people entered! Again, to see what I've wrote. I couldn't believe my eyes! But nothing prepared me for what had happened yesterday. 731 entering a day. Total 3200 since I started writing.

"It can't be" I said. "It's out of proportions!"

Barak has brought to my attention that a record I wrote was being advised on the first page of Tapuz and people entered to see what it's all about. That explains the 731 enterers!

Wow!!

We'll see how many will come back…

Any way I'm going on as usual.

(Translated by Elinor)

Un usual morning (1 July 2008)

This morning has began like yesterday's morning.

Naina fed me from the "Kangaroo", gabe me my medicine, started my daily massage. Rogi slept after a white night (because of me), when I heard her cell ringing (she adopted Eyal Golan's song "mother" as a rington)

"Rogi is crying?" I asked N. that like me heard un usual voices from their room.

"go check" I said to her.

"She is on the phone, she is crying" N. reported to me.

I panicked. I haven't seen R. crying for a year and a half since she is with me. Something terrible happened if she is crying.

I waited in anticipation for her to come to the room.

R. came, her eyes red, excited.

"I spoke to my mom (in Nepal). There was a fire at my brother's house and his whole house was burned down. Thank god no one from the family got hurt, but the landlord's daughter, a 20 years old girl, was burned to death".

"How this happened?" I asked caught up in her excitement.

"My brother was not at the house at that time" she said "my sister in law took the two youngest children to my parents. The oldest son, 11 year old boy, stayed home with a friend. The children smelled gas from the main tank of the building, the landlord's youngest boy went to check the tank with a lighting candle (!) in his hand and the fire burst into flames.

Since that the tank is near my brother's room the flames caught up in the drapes on the window. The kids were panicked and spill water all over the floor which intensify the flames. My nephew ran, hide in the bathroom and call for help.

Eventually, a 15 year old boy broke the bathroom window and pulled my nephew out".

By the way, her brother's children love Rugi tremendously and she sees them as they were her own.

"Thank god they didn't get hurt! I said to my brother, his only concern should be for the kids. I'll handle the possessions" said in relief.

That wasn't usual morning.

(Translated by Elinor)

The dancer (29 June 2008)

ALS is a disease which I would call: the silent killer.

From that aspect she is like cancer. Moves silently, biting secretly every healthy area. Don't feel a thing! No pain, no burning, no nothing! She progress through the nerves system, affects the muscles. Not on all, but for instance, the intestine muscles won't operate without the swallowing muscles that don't work. They will atrophy not because of the disease but from boredom.

Not that I don't feel pain at all. The muscles are getting shorter and cause enormous pains (massages help for a short time). They are getting shorten regardless to the body's esthetics, and creates odd shapes. On my right foot for example I have a permanent point, and it makes me feel like a ballet dancer. My right foot fingers ordered them selves like the rockers' symbol (Hadas found it out), my left foot got a twist inside and my right hand insist on flipping on her back, in a position of beggar.

Silently, each day a little more, my body is going to it's unknown way, which the end un known.

(Translated by Elinor)